An Offer I Couldn’t Refuse..Help Me Raise Money for Bipolar UK

When a Sicilian makes a request you do not refuse, I have read enough books on my favourite subject to know this much, it is also harder to refuse when it’s the beautiful Antonella asking you, so here we go again.

The running shoes are being dusted off and the running tights being brought out of retirement for one last fundraising effort this year.

I have been asked bullied into doing the Do It For Charity Santa Run – details of the even can be found here

On the 8th December I will be dressing up as Father Christmoose and chasing after Miss Claus to raise some money for Bipolar Uk, a charity very close to Antonella. Despite no training since my last run I will be doing 5km and would be very grateful if anyone would be willing to dip into their pockets and sponsor the two of us.

And so Moose and Ant hope you can help us meet our fundraising target for a good cause. Please help spread the word, tweet the link, share the link on Facebook do anything to get people excited at the prospect of seeing me in a Santa outfit.

Our sponsorship page can be found here

The beautiful Antonella, now who wouldn't donate to charity to see her dressed as Santa!

The beautiful Antonella, now who wouldn’t donate to charity to see her dressed as Santa!

Keep On Keeping On

To coin a phrase the wonderful weegee likes to throw at me now and again….

Haven’t written for a few days and feel I should update you as to whats been happening in terms of depression and life for me the past week.

I can say quite openly and confidently that I am no longer depressed – yes you read that correctly!

What I am suffering now is the loneliness of being on my own, having no kids here bar the odd day here and there I am often alone in the flat. There is a massive difference between being depressed and being sad and alone. This is how I feel at the moment. There are times when I feel low and sad but these last for a few hours as opposed to days/weeks/months and I can live with that!

I just post a few little things to get them off my chest and move on…. simples :D

I had my final talk with the amazing Dr Dhanji on Monday before he goes to Australia (another GP sick of the red tape of the NHS and moving away). He was amazed at my progress and also proud of how far I have come despite the difficult times I have had in the past few months, which a year ago would have destroyed me mentally and sent me spiraling towards sectioning!

I told him exactly how I was feeling about being lonely, to be honest I find admitting I’m lonely harder than talking about depression.

And best of all he said that the time was right for me to stay on the reduced medication as things are going so well. I didn’t have any medication for a week following my OD and all was well, I am back taking the medication though before you panic.

 

Life is great but would be even better with someone to share the good times with, the fact that I go out on my own shows how well I am doing, but would be much more fun with someone to talk to beside Jack (Daniels)..

Here is a pic taken last week at the local pub..

Moose on a night out

Moose on a night out

 

Next Friday I head off for a holiday with Brandon and cannot wait to spend some quality time with him away from these four (freshly painted) walls , despite not having spending money (donations are still accepted LOL)

Going to stay with my twin brother and his wife and I am looking forward to it immensely the Isle of Wight here we come!

So if you see a post with negativity or melancholy undertones remember that it’s just me letting off some steam, the reality is that I will feel sad having gone from having a wife and children around to it suddenly being just me and the cats. It wont always be this way and in time things will be better, especially if I can get a grip on this issue of feeling isolated and alone.

I have some good friends, and great virtual friends who I know are a message away but please don’t always be a stranger, my door is always open to friends.

After all a stranger is a friend you have yet to meet….

Today i am off to see a therapist for the first time – gonna be interesting..

And now for some music…

 

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

 

ps if you haven’t liked my page on Facebook please do pop over there and say hi! click here

Quiet Moose

You may have noticed the silence from me over the past few days, if you haven’t why not :D

Truth be told I am having a difficult time dealing with financial issues resulting from my stupid gambling problems. When I went mental a few weeks ago I basically wiped out Sheryl’s overdraft and since then we start every week with a balance of minus £200 and benefits are getting swallowed up trying to play catch up.

As we speak today I got my benefits yesterday and have a grand total of £50 available for the next 2 weeks once all bills were covered (and by all I mean the essentials), food shopping is not an option so we are working our way through whats left in the freezer as the fridge is empty and the cupboards almost bare.

I can cope with most aspects of mental health but the stresses of poverty are dragging me under as usual especially as we approach the dreaded C word period.

I am asking for help in publicising my books to at least try and help me earn a few quid pocket money.

Sometimes I think the only thing keeping me alive is the fact that cremations cost so much money!

I am working hard emotionally to keep a brave face on things and I appreciate all the people who have gone above and beyond trying to support me, one person actually donated some money to me yesterday an unbelievable act that had me in tears at the gesture.

For once I would love to be able to not worry about money and the stresses lack of it brings, after all I am on benefits and we are meant to live the life of a king according to the media! The truth is much different though, sure my rent is paid and for that I am grateful as I have the security of a roof over my head but what about other things in life, should I really have to contemplate disconnecting the internet and my only real lifeline in terms of the outside world? yes its getting that bad!

Without internet access obviously that means no blog and this is such a passion of mine let alone the social interactions I have via Facebook and Twitter.

I am sick of reading about how easy life is for people on benefits would love to see Mps living on what money we receive especially as it is paid fortnightly so your living on fresh air for the week before and the week after you get money because bills and shopping takes it all away soon as you get it. In fact I haven’t done a proper food shop for weeks now but it’s Okay because I am on benefits and therefor extremely well off! IF ONLY

Of course it is easy for people to tell me to find a job but in case your not aware I am too ill to work!

Looking at things to sell to make money and only thing I have of value is my body! any offers?

Reasons to be Cheerful

This will be my last post today (ok for a few hours at least LOL) BUT

I am in a good mood I have had a good few days and I feel inspired to write! Normally I tend to write when I am having bad days so lets just go with it today!

Photo Credit: Google Images

 

My reasons to be cheerful

  • I have hit over 50 followers of this blog
  • I have had 3000 readers
  • Yesterday I hit over 200 visitors in one day!
  • I weighed myself and have lost weight!
  • I don’t feel like being stuck indoors today!
  • You love me, you really love me. (ok scraping the barrel now)
  • I feel good! so good, so good I got you!
  • Dotty is back!
  • I have lots of new friends here on wordpress

The sun is out, my flat is hotter than a sauna and yet I feel alive today. I am going to get a price for my moose tattoo that I MUST HAVE! If that doesn’t bring me down to earth with a bump nothing will LOL keep the donations coming when the tattoo is paid for I will do a video blog of Sheryl waxing my chest! Bribery might work :-)

 

And even though the doctor wont give me a medical certificate without speaking to me on the phone I won’t let that or the people trying to bring me down bother me today! Tomorrow may be a different matter LOL but for now I am living for today!

Garry