A Balanced View from Within

Another night with little sleep but it isn’t getting to me too much yet! I’m well aware the problems a lack of sleep can cause with my depression and the importance of sleep but until I break the habit of sleeping in the afternoon the cycle of early mornings will continue but I am having a good week so cannot complain.

I am also aware of how quickly things can change so I am making the most of the good times!

People are asking me to write a list of things I DO like about myself so to give balance here is comes, it might be short it might be long giving the false impression many have had that I love myself. The reality is that I am more comfortable with myself these days because I am older, wiser and in a great marriage with the love of my life and nothing helps more than knowing your loved regardless of your perceived faults.

For the record based on my blog yesterday https://thedepressedmoose.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/garry-stripped-bare/ it would appear I have body issues and I do but not to an extent that it controls me, I know what I have and use it to my advantage when it suits me 🙂

So what do I like…

My eyes! I have awesome sexy green eyes that draw you in – they are not “come to bed eyes” they are “I want you NOW eyes”

My arms, legs and bum – yep those photos did wonders for my ego if I take the spare tyre out of the equation!

erm….physically thats about it

Personality 

This is a hard one for me to answer and would probably be best coming from the people who know me best (and that’s really a select number)

I have a good sense of humour albeit some may say its slightly warped and I will admit it can take some getting used to!

I have a good heart – I care I really do!

I’m a great listener – I do give good advice sometimes you didn’t even ask for it LOL

I’m strong – This might sound funny coming from someone with depression but it is true. I am strong enough to write about my feelings etc without it having a negative impact, i’m strong enough to know my faults and weaknesses. I am strong enough to know my mind and know when i am right and stick to my beliefs. I am strong enough to know that I have written “strong enough” too many times and not be bothered by it :-). I am strong enough to be able to truly say I don’t care what people say and think because I am a good decent person!

So four things off the top of head – doesn’t sound a lot but it really is! I have had confidence issues my life but I have learnt to concentrate on the good things I have! (accentuate the positive – greatest advice i ever got!)

The Things I don’t like…….

Now don’t get me wrong with some of these but in the interest of balance I want to put these down there because I know people will respond and suggest otherwise

I am a wasted talent –  I am clever, not necessarily in a graduate kind of way, but I have wasted my life thus far. I could and should have done more with my intelligence.

My Temper – Now don’t jump to conclusions I am not the physical type. I’m a shouter lol my bark is far far worse than my bite ask the kids the only time they are scared of me is when I shout at them. I do have a short fuse though and I do struggle to control it! I believe this is down to frustration with life more than anything else

Money – I have to spend it NOW, I am terrible with money and wish I could save it. Not that I have a chance to currently as my 3 year old has more money in her purse than I have in the bank! Unemployment = poor!

I’m needy – I like to be looked after! There I said it!

I’m Lazy – its true I am one lazy bastard! This may stem from being depressed as I sometimes lack motivation to do anything around the house. NB for “sometimes” read always!

So there we have it a list of things I like and dislike about myself. It’s not a long list but its an honest list, not designed to bring me up or drag me down but to show I am human and have strengths and faults in equal measure. I know people will highlight other strengths as well as other faults (but please be kind!) but I am 100% happy with what I have in terms of my emotional state.

Generally speaking I am a good person and although the glass is half empty it still contains drink!

Garry

3 comments on “A Balanced View from Within

  1. Please go back and read your paragraph about being strong – – I was surprised and very pleasantly so. Do you realize what you think about yourself? You believe you are a strong person . . . so do I. So, why does stress (except for money) keep you from doing what you know needs to be done, or from doing the things you want to do? Have a think about it ❤

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  2. Garry your blog is nothing short of to the point and deeply honest! i’m amazed at how from an outsiders pov you seem to be genuinely happy and have made such a slight but drastic turn around in such a few shorts weeks. You are an amazing person, look at your family. You are only lacking a little bit of self esteem to go out and conquer anything you set your mind to now. For a long time you were in charge of an entire clan family and boosted so many egos and now it’s come full circle where those people that you lifted thru all kinds of ordeals need to be there and support you. We all love ya Garry, you’ll always be the Moose, but Garry fits so much better…and if you wanna get gangsta G. Dub works homey!! :p
    p.s. i think sarcasm is everyone’s natural diffuser..helps in awkward situations and can even make a person laugh when they want to cry. Don’t ever lose the FUN 🙂

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    • wouldnt say i was genuinely happy but masking things better than I was LOL and im not sure i wanna go “gansta” with the whitest girl i know (giggles)

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