The Joys of Camouflage

Can you see the cat?

If you look closely enough in the photo you can just about make out my cat on the foreground of my sofa.  The crafty animal was helping herself to the cream on the table and I did not notice her until she was happily tucking into it! It is not the best of pictures but it fits in nicely with the theme of this post.

When we have our depressed days (I am starting to dislike the term “down days” despite how often I use it!)  wouldn’t it be great if we could have a form of camouflage to hide into and disappear from view for a while. It would be a handy tool to have at our disposal, to have the ability to merge into the background and go along our merry way without being spotted by people.

Or would it?

The funny thing about this is how open and exposed I am in this blog despite my claim for camouflage! As I have said before I am a series of contradictions see here for more on that!

I dress in bright colours as I like my clothes to reflect my personality, IE Loud, maybe in a strange way I use it to reflect away from the inside me and let people focus on the outside appearance which I can control better.

Problem is I like wearing pink T-shirts and end up looking like this….

Mr Blobby – photo credit: BBC

Yes I know I do not really look like that mainly because my pink t-shirts are spotless (for this very reason) but I am starting to draw the conclusion that my own camouflage is more verbal than visual. Telling people I am doing OK, I am getting better etc seems to work better for me than hiding behind something as I like to be center stage – There I said it!

Despite the bright, loud clothing I wear it appears it is more anti-camouflage than an attempt at hiding away.  What do you think? Am I making sense or over analyzing?

Despite my depression I am more comfortable at the front than hiding away in the back out of sight, as the saying goes “out of sight, out of mind” but I think I may be in the minority in this case. I would love your views on this!

I guess for me attack is the best form of defence in terms of dealing with depression which is why I am happy to tell people about it and publicise it because then I am the master of the situation and can deal with it in my own way.

This probably comes from years of being known as the “loud one” if I carry on with this identity it becomes less obvious to people that there is something wrong. Once you suddenly become quiet and withdrawn the first thing people ask is “what’s wrong?”.

Do you have your own form of camouflage? Is it the smile that appears on your face to hide the real feelings?  I would love to know….

Garry

 

20 comments on “The Joys of Camouflage

    • I think a lot of people use humour as a mask especially the Self-deprecation type I seem to specialise in. But as I try to explain to the kids being able to laugh at yourself is an important tool to have available

  1. Dear Garry,

    Ditto what tlsih said. From being young, I’ve always used humour as my mask – until the time came a few years ago when I couldn’t do it any more. Now it seems to be coming back a little (even if it is just online – small steps and all that) which is all I really want to happen – if I have the ability to camouflage myself maybe I can fake it enough to get some sort of life back again.

    Love Dotty xxx

  2. Yep I have a big happy front which is my camoflage. In my last job they used to call me Smiler because I was always smiling and joking…….. Hmmmm…….
    And how many straws do you want in your Pepsi can?

  3. I nearly always go out in a hat and / or sunglasses. I think people think I’m being pretentious and want to be noticed but it’s actually a disguise so they can’t see me… :S

  4. I can see an eye!! I think however much you try to camouflage if you look closely enough at the eyes you can tell. X

  5. I like men who wear pink! What it says to me is that they are comfortable or at least aware of who they are. The one’s I know who aren’t afraid have a honed sense of humor. You’re a survivor and it’s a tool in toolbox of survivor gear, not to be confused with being a “tool”.

    You may remember me throwing this one out there a time or two. It’s a tool I use and I do practice what I preach…..”fake it until you make it”.

  6. Pingback: My Month in Blogville – A Bad Poem to Celebrate | The Depressed Moose

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