This is no way indicative to how I am feeling currently but it came to me and I had to get it down in print!
Apologies again for the true poets out there but its as good as I get!
The room is getting smaller,
The light merges into dark,
The air starts to become thin,
The walls are closing in.
Shortness of breath,
the pounding of my heart,
the sweat running down my head,
fighting this feeling of dread.
Struggling to speak,
my knees growing weak,
“Hi I’m Garry I have depression”,
“Recovery is my obsession!”
Standing under the familiar cloud,
The voice inside me screams aloud,
“you need more strength to set you free”,
“from all this pain and misery”
The silence is the loudest sound.
deafening me from all around,
The awkward feelings of fear and doubt,
are the only ones I think about.
The sound of laughter, fun and joy,
the noise I would make as a young boy.
It seems such a distant memory,
a reminder of who I used to be.
Slowly feeling suffocated,
alone, helpless and isolated,
and yet I know I’m not by myself,
in this journey of my mental health.
That one friend who writes me,
to ask how I am,
they don’t realise how important it is,
to know that someone gives a damn!
Taking each day nice and slow,
allowing time for my strength to grow,
making time to read and write,
keeps me busy throughout the night.
The hands around my throat squeeze tight,
trying to take my air with all their might,
I struggle to breathe and try to fight back,
Under pressure from this sustained attack.
And so the walls keep closing in,
it’s more than I can take,
and just at that vital moment,
My eyes open and I’m AWAKE!