It has been that sort of day today! A typical day in the life of someone who suffers with depression with highs and lows.
Perfect time for me to share with you the working of my brain and how depression affects it.
Here some examples of how I have been feeling & thinking today.
- I’m so proud of myself for publishing a book
- I’m so excited about the book
- I can’t wait to tell everyone about the book
- I really hope people share my link to the book
- I hope people are proud of me for finishing the book so quickly
- I hope people buy the book
- I hope people are positive about the book
- I hope I get good reviews
Here is what the depression is telling me in response to the above:
- No one cares about the damn book
- no one will read the book
- your book is crap
- your a failure if no one reads the book.
No amount of people telling me the former as opposed to the latter makes any difference to my mindset.
It has been a long, draining, emotional day battling with depression trying to counter the negative thoughts with positive ones and I feel exhausted!
I am convinced those of you who have depression know exactly where I am coming from with this whereas, those who don’t suffer think I am going mad but this is how depression works believe me.
Days like this take a hell of a lot out of you when your so determined to not let depression get the better of you leaving you mentally and physically drained!