Roller coaster of a day

It has been that sort of day today! A typical day in the life of someone who suffers with depression with highs and lows.

Perfect time for me to share with you the working of my brain and how depression affects it.

Here some examples of how I have been feeling & thinking today.

  1. I’m so proud of myself for publishing a book
  2. I’m so excited about the book
  3. I can’t wait to tell everyone about the book
  4. I really hope people share my link to the book
  5. I hope people are proud of me for finishing the book so quickly
  6. I hope people buy the book
  7. I hope people are positive about the book
  8. I hope I get good reviews

Here is what the depression is telling me in response to the above:

  1. No one cares about the damn book
  2. Β no one will read the book
  3. your book is crap
  4. your a failure if no one reads the book.

No amount of people telling me the former as opposed to the latter makes any difference to my mindset.

It has been a long, draining, emotional day battling with depression trying to counter the negative thoughts with positive ones and I feel exhausted!

I am convinced those of you who have depression know exactly where I am coming from with this whereas, those who don’t suffer think I am going mad but this is how depression works believe me.

Days like this take a hell of a lot out of you when your so determined to not let depression get the better of you leaving you mentally and physically drained!

20 comments on “Roller coaster of a day

  1. For what it’s worth, I’m very proud of you for finishing the book so speedily, and I’m definitely looking forward to checking it out and sharing the link with others. I know the processes of your mind that you are describing though, and I say well done for being able to sort through all of those thoughts and make sense of them.

    Wishing only the best for you and your book.

    Like

  2. i so understand that…i just resided for me that my accomplishment was following through on the book, pushing through a lot of fear to do so…that is my victory even if no one bought my book, i had victory and a dream come true. that has taken sooo much pressure off of me.

    Like

  3. I had to click “like” but I wanted to click a “dislike” because today has been so rough on you. I’m sorry you are suffering 😦

    Like

  4. I don’t know if you know this, but the fact that you FINISHED a book already makes you far ahead of the depressed curve!! You are amazing!
    Looking forward to helping create the Moose Masses πŸ˜‰

    Like

  5. You have achieved something great, whether people will like your book or not doesn’t even come into it! That is the difference in thinking with someone who suffers from depression and someone who doesn’t. It’s not about approval from others but allowing yourself to see that what you have achieved is pretty damn amazing actually πŸ™‚ !

    Like

  6. Pingback: Depression & Sweets | HealthCare Blog

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