As we leave August and welcome September it will be soon be six months to the day that I was ready to end it all!
see here for details about my moment of weakness
Now though I can look back over the last six months and in a strange way be grateful for depression turning me into the person I am today.
Without accepting that I needed some help and subsequently being diagnosed by my GP I would have just been another victim to a life of misery.
I made a decision to embrace my illness and turn it around into something that be positive, and look at how far I have come since then.
I had not done any writing since leaving school in 1995. Seventeen years are a long time to be doing no writing whatsoever and yet without depression I would not have considered doing a blog, let alone writing books. Publishing them was never an option, I was not even aware you could self publish!
I have always been better at dealing with other people’s problems than my own but now I am helping strangers, people who have reached out to me to thank me for writing about depression. This would never have happened with my depression!
It is funny how something that has caused me so much suffering has turned into something that has inspired me, and others.
I can thank depression for forcing me into writing and doing something that I really enjoy for the first time in many years, it is really only comparable to playing football. That is a big statement because football was my life until I was 23 and the knee injury stopped me from playing. It took me ten long years to replace the feeling that football gave me and writing has given me a new lease of life.
In a round about way I can embrace depression and be happy in the knowledge that without it I would not be a published author and a (moderately) successful blogger.
So what can you do to turn your depression into something positive? The hardest thing is being able to take a back seat and look at things from a positive perspective but I can assure you there is something tucked away there that you may not be fully aware off. Be it as a writer, volunteer or even just a shoulder to cry on for someone in the same situation as you.
Has it inspired you to try something different?, or maybe like me to try something that was a long forgotten talent?
Regardless this morning I can thank depression for making my creative juices flow again and help others.