You can’t be depressed you’re smiling

Ever heard the term “smiling depression”

Truth is a lot of people with depression suffer from what is uncommonly known as “smiling depression” sometimes called Masked Depression as well.

below is taken from urbandictionary.com 

1. smiling depression
a term not largely known among people.
it is commonly described when you are so depressed inside yet you hide these aching emotions and appear to be happy and chipper to others. many people may confuse smiling depression with other things or may just classify it as being depressed but in fact it varies largely from being depressed.in addition to being depressed: feeling numb inside, having a constant feeling of worthlessness, and not knowing what to do in life, when you are dealing with smiling depression people become even more confused from the constant role play of being happy to others. people with smiling depression want to get better but do not know what to do to console others, and most likely the disease of smiling depression must go away naturally because no one will help out the individual. seeing that no one knows of the persons true depressing thoughts.

Is this more a case of having to hide the true nature of the illness from others due to the stigma that follows?

I would certainly imagine most people with “smiling depression” are those who work and have not told anyone about their illness for fear of becoming ostracised and in some cases eventually being forced out of their jobs. Crazy as that sounds it is a lot more common than people think. Lots of people HAVE to hide their depression at work because employers will find reasons to force them out, Google it if you don’t believe me!

Other than walking around with a smile plastered on your face pretending everything is okay when it’s not how about when you are smiling because at this moment in time you actually feel happy?

Do you ever feel when you are in in the middle of a happy cycle that you are a fraud?

That you shouldn’t be allowed to experience some up days because people will suddenly assume that your depression has vanished?

It is something I have seen various times on twitter, where people feel guilty for having a good day.

Why is that?

Is it to do with the stereotypes that all people with depression want to do is feel sorry for ourselves and walk around with a huge black cloud, crying our eyes out and looking for the best way to end it all?

Or is it just part of the illness reminding you that it is still there?

Since Monday morning I have been having an awesome week, no anxiety, no negative feelings and yet I suddenly feel like I should be feeling guilty for having a good cycle.

Now don’t get me wrong I DON’T feel guilty, quite the opposite but it is something I have seen others post in the past.

It interests me to understand why we feel bad for feeling good!

anyone have any ideas behind it?

anyone experienced the same sort of emotions?

 

28 comments on “You can’t be depressed you’re smiling

  1. Hi, i’ve had that thing feeling guilty about having good days, or feeling ashamed I shouldn’t be feeling good, it seems to be part of some sort of cycle of shame and guilt, perhaps associated with depression that then feeds into the anxiety and paranoia in my case. Part of what’s behind it I think in the case of people who know us is that we may think to ourselves that we’re a fake, or we’re lying. I’ve often had those sorts of thoughts whirling round in my mind in the past. It’s actually frightening to feel good, so you try to limit it to ok. Or just try to stabilise the mood at least. I guess that’s the best way I can explain it from my own point of view. Great post

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  2. Pingback: You can’t be depressed you’re smiling | Mental Health, Politics and LGBT issues | Scoop.it

  3. I do feel a bit guilty. But fear is greater. Guilty because of the support I’ve had, and fear because it can change from hour to hour.
    I have always disguised it at work because my job is meeting the public and when I get to them (I do a sandwich round) I leap out of my truck and it’s showtime. I can tell everyone else it is pointless to feel guilty and why, but not myself, but then we are all like that. xxx

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  4. Great post moose! I guess the smiling depression thing is like wearing a mask all the time. People think you are fine/happy, but inside you’re battling with it all. I find it difficult for people to take my depression seriously because people think I’m coping, but that’s only because I hide it a lot of the time. I’m glad you’re feeling good at the moment, and glad you don’t feel guilty! (Because you shouldn’t!) I can see why people feel guilty for having good days, personally it makes me think that I am not really depressed and that I must be making it up, otherwise I would always be feeling down (even though I know rationally that this is not true.)

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    • yeah thats the negativity of depression for you i can cope with most aspects of the illness but not the negativity

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  5. I just wish it would go away already! I just did a play where I was a really excited happy fairy. Now everyone expects me to be like that. At my job I serve customers, so of course I need to smile etc. After the play I have been really upset with myself because I have fallen into another really dark patch, worse than I have been in a while. I did think I was fine.

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    • dont let other peoples expectations affect your moods, I know its rough and glad you reached out to me. The guilt is the depression reminding you its still around. I work on a 24hr basis with the bad days in the hope the new day will be better and works for me x

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  6. Pingback: Depression and my conceptual friend in the sketches of Robert Crumb. « jacqueline valencia

  7. I think it’s easier to feel ‘guilty’ about it once you’ve made connections with others who suffer. I know that my own experiences of depression are not often as great as what some other bloggers seem to experience. I feel it might also be because you know that the ‘mask’ will have to come off sooner or later and you may fear that others may be come suspicious of your apparent ‘drop’ in mood, which isn’t something that many sufferers can openly talk about.

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  8. You wanna know one of the reason why I have not told anyone of my depression? It is much like this. I smile too much, I am afraid they will not believe me.

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  9. I have tried to post a comment twice now! It will work this time, I am sure!
    Anyway, you wanna know one of reasons why I haven’t told anyone of my depression yet? It is much like this. I smile too much, it’s all I ever show. I am afraid they will not believe me.

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  10. Pingback: You can’t be depressed you’re smiling | brokentoysoldier

  11. iv watched my beloved husband fall apart while living at home and now he has walked out on me and is puttiing the blamb on me when i know the truth and can still see the pain in his face , really dont know what eles to do !!! help

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  12. I feel this almost everyday, I feel fine and then all of a sudden I feel guilty because I feel like I am just lying to myself about being depressed and that in reality I’m just being a wuss, honestly, I still don’t know. I barely get any sleep at nights anymore, I’ve come to spend nights wondering what would happen if I just ended my life, would anybody really care, sometimes I feel like everyone would laugh at me for giving up and commiting suicide, or worse they’d be glad because I am gone. And the strange part? It’s like nobody notices what’s going on. I cover it up with smiles and a social life but I can’t be that good can I? This cycle repeats practically everyday. Is this what smiling depression is? I’m to embarrased to ask my parents to see a doctor because I think that they will just laugh. So I decided to go on the internet and see if this helps me at all. It’s been going on since at least I was 13, I am 16 now.

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    • I can understand how you feel. I an 15 and ive been suffering since i was like 12 i think. I have never been a social person but i use to go outside and hang out with my friends but it changed now i have like 2 friends that i barely talk too. I have never been comftorable talking to my family or anyone Bout needing help but i tried comitting suicide and ended up in a hospital for couple weeks. Since than everything is just awkward and upsetting with my family. They are tryig to be supportive i still feel like i have to smile and pretend that im getting better and everything.

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  13. Pingback: The Birthday Moose | The Depressed Moose

  14. For me it’s mostly feeling like somethigs missing. Like its wrong to feel happy. When i do feel depressed i often find myself doing or thinking things that wil make me feel worse.

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