TRIGGER WARNING!!!!! THIS POST IS ABOUT ABUSE IN CARE HOMES FOR CHILDREN!!
I decided to set up a Facebook page after suddenly being confronted with things that I had long ago buried in my past. Let me explain…. I grew up in the care system from the late seventies all the way to the late eighties early nineties. ‘Care’ as it is laughingly called was actually just as abusive, if not more so than the family I was removed from.
My last children’s home was the first one to hit the headlines and at the time we were all over the place, reporters camped outside, radio talk shows, even an I.T.V. documentary was made on the subject. An inquiry happened and the place was closed down.
As time went by that particular children’s home was forgotten about as more and more cases came to light and then mid nineties it seemed to stop altogether.
Recently however, with the whole Jimmy Savile expose happening and as his connections with care homes has become apparent, some well meaning but ultimately unthinking individuals have decided to jump on the bandwagon and join the ’cause’.
I was all of a sudden faced with press clippings and reports from my last children’s home being all over the net. Some of them mentioned me by initial, some by a case letter/number and some even put my first name with an initial for my surname.
I didn’t at any point give my permission for some very personal details about my life to be put out there, I certainly didn’t give my permission for people to discuss me as if I was only an initial or case number. I have been transported back, through no choice of my own, to a time I tried to forget.
Worse than that was seeing the comments underneath the articles.People arguing with each other, tut tutting about how terrible it all was, posturing and ultimately stroking their own ego’s seems to be the norm.
They purport to be fighting for people like me when in fact they are doing anything but. If I wanted my details and my life to be put out there then I would have done it, I didn’t want it so I didn’t do it. It was done for me by people who seem to be so blinkered by what ever cause they are fighting they are not stopping to think about the collateral damage they are leaving behind.
The overriding thought that kept going through my mind when reading all of this was ‘you are not doing this in my name, you are not doing this in my name, YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS IN MY NAME!!!’ Hence the name of my page. I feel there is a fine line between fighting for a cause and stamping all over peoples lives and feelings whilst you do it. We are REAL people they are talking about, we are here, we are alive and we didn’t give our permission for our stories to be told and to be picked over like vultures over carrion.
If you are as disgusted about this as I am, even if you believe in the cause but can also see that this approach is wrong, PLEASE like and comment on my page so that we can wake people up to the effect their actions are having on the very people they say they are talking for. Thank you for listening and a MASSIVE thank you to Garry for giving me the space to talk.
The page can be found here