If I Were..

I have seen this “game” on a couple of blogs and thought I would give it a go..

If I were a politician I would be

Firstly I don’t have the ability in me to be a politician, I care too much about other people and I am too honest to be able to look myself in the mirror after a day of bullshitting the public that elected me and screwing them whilst claiming thousands in expenses!

But that being said I would close the borders and stop mass immigration. I would stop the bankers from ruining the countries finances and being rewarded with millions in bonuses and I would remind every other politician that they are meant to serve the people not fuck them on a regular basis!

If I were a pop star I would be

a bed hopping, jack daniels swilling paparazzi dream! heck I’m 34 not 94! now if only i could sing, not that singing appears to be a requirement these days.

If I were a film star I would be

Al Pacino. I am similar to him with my ability to scare people with my sudden switch of temper and loud voice!

If I were in a soap opera I would be

The person women want to have and men want to be like, respected and feared at the same time.

If I were a writer I would be

Spending my time counting piles of money from royalties and movie deals, instead of trying to flog my crappy books now LOL

If I were a book I would be

the kind that you couldn’t put down. A romance novel with a strong masculine hero who saves the day and the girl

If I were a TV show host I would be

A talk show host like Johnathon Ross – near the knuckle but able to get people to open up. The stars would all want to appear on my show. The title would be Moose Meets..

If I were a criminal I would be

As a mafia nut the only answer here would be a mafia family boss!

If I were a religion I would be

I would be a religion that promoted tolerance but actually meant it – one open to all regardless of gender, colour and sexuality. All Hail Moose

If I were a mythical beast I would be

I would be a politician that cared!

If I were a Disney character I would be

I would be Aladdin – the street rat with a heart of gold

If I were a drug I would be

I wouldnt know where to begin here never touched drugs so couldnt really say. But to coin a song “love is the drug” so i would be love! Apparently it’s all you need, if it works for The Beatles it works for me.

If I were an animal I would be

Obviously I would be a moose! As my good friend Cindy once said “strong and graceful but vulnerable in the circle of life”

If I were a piece of food I would be

I would be comfort food, something that makes everything all better. Chocolate, hen i would be a chocolate moose 😀

If I were an illness I would be

Something that is curable, an illness that makes you feel vulnerable but once cured stronger than ever before

If I were a mood I would be

delirium but in a happy had too much sugar kinda way

If I were a holiday resort I would be

i would be vegas! lots of neon, bright lights and strippers and what happens there stays there!

If I were a pattern I would be

i wouldnt be a set pattern, I would be a big dollop on the middle of paper that is then folded in half and spread across the paper, bright colours though to reflect my loud personality

If I were a tree I would be

I am already a tree as people say I’m TREEmendous!

Have a go at this would love to see some answers!