RIP Teresa

Teresa my friend from Texas sadly passed away last night.

Without her love, support and friendship over the past 3 years I would not have survived.

She helped me deal with the loss of my uncle and it was her who encouraged me to start this blog, write poems and publish books.

Teresa inspired me.

Teresa guided me.

Teresa always listened, never judged, never preached. Somehow she always had the answers but never gave them directly to me, she would just show me a path and wait for me to find the answers myself.

Teresa was like a mentor and a mother.

Teresa was the nicest person I have ever “met” in my life.

Sometimes people come into your life for a reason and I firmly believe (and Teresa told me numerous times) that she was in my life to send me onto the path of writing.

I will miss her terribly, the tears have flowed this morning.

We spoke almost daily for 3 years, spent new years eve talking together in 2011 and 2012. She knew me inside out, she was my rock. She gave me the strength to fight depression instead of being smothered by it. I knew if I had anything on my mind she would listen and advice.

I feel numb, I have lost my support.

And yet I know she will visit me in spirit, continue to guide me along with my uncles.

She did not suffer she was not in pain and she will be overjoyed to be with Jesus now, her faith was astounding and she helped me reconnect with God.

A new angel arrived at Heavens Gates last night, our loss is Heavens gain.

A remarkable woman who blessed me with her friendship I will never forget you Kitty.

One day we will finally meet!

Everything I have achieved with this blog is down to Teresa, she encouraged me (sometimes demanded) to write

Sweet dreams Teresa you were loved by many, especially me!.

I will continue my work helping others in your memory!

A Welcome Visit, Unexpected but Needed

After the lows of yesterday I slept like a baby last night, by that I mean I kept waking up wanting a bottle and shit myself twice.

Alright the last part is not strictly true, but I had the best nights sleep I have had for a long time.

I took Patch for a walk last night around 10pm. While walking across the field outside the flats I kept hearing a strange noise, having this strange feeling like I was being watched. It wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling though it was almost like something was protecting me, trying to get my attention.

Around 3am I drifted off to sleep, a deep sleep. Despite the flat being hotter than Mila Kunis last night I was out of the count and suddenly I found myself in an unusual place, somewhere I have not set foot in for over a year.

I was sat in my Uncle Ron’s flat, he was in the kitchen making me a cup of tea. It wasn’t the Ron who I last saw on his deathbed. It was the Ron from years before laughing, joking and full of energy, listening to the horse racing on the radio.

There was a knock of his door and as I opened it I was shocked to see my Uncle Eric standing there. Eric passed away in 2000.

My uncles sat me down and spoke to me. There told me to let things happen, that I am too concerned with the now. They promised me things will improve if I allow them too and more importantly they told me how proud of me they were.

I needed this dream last night, I have always believed that my Uncles are protecting me from above.

Today I feel a million miles apart from the man of yesterday. A good nights sleep has helped but not as much as the visit from my Uncles.

It is going to be a good day today