A Balanced View from Within

Another night with little sleep but it isn’t getting to me too much yet! I’m well aware the problems a lack of sleep can cause with my depression and the importance of sleep but until I break the habit of sleeping in the afternoon the cycle of early mornings will continue but I am having a good week so cannot complain.

I am also aware of how quickly things can change so I am making the most of the good times!

People are asking me to write a list of things I DO like about myself so to give balance here is comes, it might be short it might be long giving the false impression many have had that I love myself. The reality is that I am more comfortable with myself these days because I am older, wiser and in a great marriage with the love of my life and nothing helps more than knowing your loved regardless of your perceived faults.

For the record based on my blog yesterday https://thedepressedmoose.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/garry-stripped-bare/ it would appear I have body issues and I do but not to an extent that it controls me, I know what I have and use it to my advantage when it suits me 🙂

So what do I like…

My eyes! I have awesome sexy green eyes that draw you in – they are not “come to bed eyes” they are “I want you NOW eyes”

My arms, legs and bum – yep those photos did wonders for my ego if I take the spare tyre out of the equation!

erm….physically thats about it

Personality 

This is a hard one for me to answer and would probably be best coming from the people who know me best (and that’s really a select number)

I have a good sense of humour albeit some may say its slightly warped and I will admit it can take some getting used to!

I have a good heart – I care I really do!

I’m a great listener – I do give good advice sometimes you didn’t even ask for it LOL

I’m strong – This might sound funny coming from someone with depression but it is true. I am strong enough to write about my feelings etc without it having a negative impact, i’m strong enough to know my faults and weaknesses. I am strong enough to know my mind and know when i am right and stick to my beliefs. I am strong enough to know that I have written “strong enough” too many times and not be bothered by it :-). I am strong enough to be able to truly say I don’t care what people say and think because I am a good decent person!

So four things off the top of head – doesn’t sound a lot but it really is! I have had confidence issues my life but I have learnt to concentrate on the good things I have! (accentuate the positive – greatest advice i ever got!)

The Things I don’t like…….

Now don’t get me wrong with some of these but in the interest of balance I want to put these down there because I know people will respond and suggest otherwise

I am a wasted talent –  I am clever, not necessarily in a graduate kind of way, but I have wasted my life thus far. I could and should have done more with my intelligence.

My Temper – Now don’t jump to conclusions I am not the physical type. I’m a shouter lol my bark is far far worse than my bite ask the kids the only time they are scared of me is when I shout at them. I do have a short fuse though and I do struggle to control it! I believe this is down to frustration with life more than anything else

Money – I have to spend it NOW, I am terrible with money and wish I could save it. Not that I have a chance to currently as my 3 year old has more money in her purse than I have in the bank! Unemployment = poor!

I’m needy – I like to be looked after! There I said it!

I’m Lazy – its true I am one lazy bastard! This may stem from being depressed as I sometimes lack motivation to do anything around the house. NB for “sometimes” read always!

So there we have it a list of things I like and dislike about myself. It’s not a long list but its an honest list, not designed to bring me up or drag me down but to show I am human and have strengths and faults in equal measure. I know people will highlight other strengths as well as other faults (but please be kind!) but I am 100% happy with what I have in terms of my emotional state.

Generally speaking I am a good person and although the glass is half empty it still contains drink!

Garry