In the beginning and what next for The Depressed Moose

Almost 8 years ago I was on a different journey, a dark slippery slope of depression that eventually cost me a marriage and almost my life. The Depressed Moose was born out of necessity and a deep desire to help other people, men in particular, to open up about mental health and for about 2 years it was a success. I was known on twitter, in the mental health community as someone who would speak out about the subject without worrying about the taboo nature at the time. It was not so widely spoken about back then, nowadays it’s a normal healthy subject in many ways due to it being more publicized. One of my proudest moments was when a premier league footballer recognised me from my blog at a mental health event.

I wrote books, worked alongside Mind to create the online support group elefriends and was a “go to” person for a lot of people. Many of those strangers are friends to this day, some sadly no longer with us but this blog helped save my life at a time when I was barely hanging on.

When I took a break from blogging I was in a new relationship and whilst that ultimately didnt work out it was the right decision for me at that time. New beginnings, new opportunities and a new exciting chapter in my life. Regardless of what happened it was a period of my life that gave me many lessons and challenges that the old me would’ve buckled under the emotional turmoil, I came out the other side stronger. The dark days of depression crippling me were a thing of the past…

I’ve written sporadically since those days, its been almost 3 years and in that time I’ve worked almost non stop. Considering my mental health made me unemployed for 7 years this has been a huge positive to come out of a negative situation. The downside to this is that it means I have less time to dedicate to writing and at times my passion was extinguished. Long gone are the majority of bloggers I read, times change, people change and it becomes harder to maintain, connect and market a blog.

The black dog still visits from time to time but thanks, in part, to the writing from the bad years I can look back, see the triggers and signs and stop them before it escalates too much. The dog barks from outside the garden rather than next to me.

So where does that leave this blog? Truth be told is that right now I’m not entirely sure. I will always be a mental health advocate and supporter of those wanting help, advice and a friendly ear. As this blog evolves again it may well be a mix and match place but mental health, and depression in particular will always have a place here.

For now it’s great to be sharing my life with my followers ( is it wrong to call you fans? Fuels the ego somewhat) so subject matter from my holidays away, my general adventures with Karl (consider the 2 of us as a fatter, older, more bitter and less successful Ant and Dec)

As one of my best friends said “please keep writing and I promise to keep on reading”


Pride of my place on my wall

Thank you all of you who comment, like and interact with this page. It’s great to see some old faces and meet new people.

Holiday and Miss Naughty….

Back home from the beautiful Isle of Wight and I feel relaxed, which is surprising considering how much I was panicking about coming back home to an empty flat again.

The batteries have been nicely recharged and I am ready to move forward into the next big challenge for me, finding a job. I have worked in retail, in sales, as a provident agent (which could be a blog all by itself!) – for those who don’t know what provident are they are a company that offer cash loans at sky-high interest rates which agents then go round to their houses on a weekly basis to collect installments. I was also a teaching assistant but have been out of work for 3 years unless I can claim that I was a self-employed blogger, author and mental health campaigner…

To be perfectly honest I would be willing to be an arse wiper for a sumo wrestler with the shits if it meant I was earning a wage! I just want to get back out there again and earn some money.

Back to the holiday..

The Isle of Wight is a beautiful place with lots of nice beaches and some stunning scenery and I cannot recommend a visit highly enough, shame about the cost of the ferry to get there but it is worth staying a week or so to lose yourself in the calmness and beauty of the place.

holiday iow 088

Taken on Brading Downs

The Needles at Alum Bay

The Needles at Alum Bay

coloured sand at Alum bay

coloured sand at Alum Bay

coloured sand at Alum Bay

I am very happy to have spent some quality time with my twin brother David and his wife Debbie and can’t wait for next years visit – although I haven’t told them that yet..

The island is bloody expensive though as it is geared towards tourism but the best £4 spent was on this… especially when I saw the look of horror on Brandon, David, Debbie and Jacob’s faces as I disappeared for a while and came back looking like this..

money well spent! yes I'm a big kid at heart..

money well spent! yes I’m a big kid at heart..

although to be fair I did feel slightly sorry for all the little kids queuing up waiting for their face to be painted while a 34-year-old man sat in the chair….

I am now ready for the next chapter of my life to begin and hopefully I find work sooner rather than later, I am getting the bug to travel now having had my first holiday since 2006 and there are plans in the pipeline to go further afield….

Moving forward is the next step and I intend to go 2 steps at a time to make up for lost time once someone takes a chance on me and gives me a job!

Meanwhile I have been having a wonderful time getting to know Miss Naughty who has kept me thoroughly entertained over the past week since she contacted me via this blog, it is nice to feel attractive again and lots of fun learning about someone new who wants to spend time communicating with me. Thank you “Bridget”  for making me laugh and smile a lot , and taking my mind off other stuff that had been threatening to bring me down again!

The future is starting to look brighter again once I can fully learn to stop looking behind me on what has been, focusing on what I can do and what changes I can make is the goal from here on in…

Buckle up for the ride folks it may well get bumpy but with some amazing people behind me ready to pick me up if I fall how the hell can I not succeed?

Thank you again David and Debbie for having Brandon and I for the week, I appreciate it a lot, its great to have a close relationship with you both again – another positive to take from recent events!