You Go Yoga?

I do indeed go to Yoga classes twice a week. As part of my quest for distractions from depression, and to help with my knee issues as well I took the plunge 4 weeks ago and attended my first yoga class.

My expectations were that I would enter a class full of people tying themselves into knots while the fat bloke in the lycra (me!) could barely see his toes, let alone touch them!

I introduced myself to the instructor, a wonderful lady named Alex, and explained my muscle and joint issues to her, as well as my depression. She put my at ease by simply telling me to do as much as my body allowed and not to be too expectant of what I can and cannot do.

From the first five minutes I was hooked! Just sitting down cross legged, eyes closed and breathing slowly in and out seems such a simple thing to do BUT how many times do we simply do it? Never that’s how many times!

The whole hour of the class my mind in just focused on being able to get into some of the positions, not on anything to do with my mental health or the world outside the class. My attention is all on me and my breathing.

To be honest it feels amazing to actually be in tune with myself even for just an hour twice a week.

The other thing I love about yoga is that it really is a bloody hard workout! forget the running on the treadmill for an hour I sweat more in the yoga class than I do on the treadmill, well to be fair I do not sweat I glow 😀 but the whole body gets a workout, stretching my arms, legs and muscles in my stomach that I didn’t know I had!

Built into the workout is the knowledge that the time spent is all about me! breathing and letting go of my troubles and worries help greatly. I would go as far as saying that my depression has improved since I started going! I have also noticed that I am able to get further into stretches each time I go so it is also helping my flexibility and easing the pain in my knees as my hamstrings get a good work out.

As a distraction for depression, or other mental health illnesses I really cannot recommend yoga enough. The class is not full of skinny as a rake women with their legs over their heads easily going from one position to another, nor is it just for women! There are a few men in the classes with me, which is great for me to not feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.

Quiet time for the mind, deep breathing exploring myself and a hard physical workout! what more could you ask for?

Give it a try if there is a class near you. I promise you will enjoy it! and even if you don’t enjoy it what have you lost? an hour of your life is all.

Trying out something different is a string to my bow since I acknowledged my depression and decided to do something about it – if someone told me a few years ago I would not only be doing yoga but loving it I would have laughed at them.

My opinion is that people are missing a trick not attempting it at least once.

 

 

Losing Weight and Feeling Great

Okay I admit it I was wrong about this whole exercise thing!

I am starting to notice the rewards for my effort in the gym and I’m enjoying my time there. I am getting known by the staff there and starting to interact with more people.

My IBS had been playing up last week so much so that I only went on Monday so when I walked through the doors again yesterday it was nice to be asked by the staff where I had been and how was my training going.

I pushed really hard during my workout yesterday and it was a nice feeling to have the sweat pouring off me knowing I was working the hardest I could physically without causing any damage! I am painfully aware of my limitations but have felt the need to up my game slightly so that I can get maximum reward for effort and I have felt the difference in my mental health as a result of exercising regularly.

It’s more about the fact that I am out of the flat more often than any endorphin’s released through exercise. The level of support I receive from people online also contributes massively to my mental health as it is great to know people are willing you to succeed.

I finally managed to wake up early enough to attend a yoga class at gym today.

Early enough, in fact, to spend 30 minutes on the treadmill BEFORE the class!

I am hoping having a good ole stretch of muscles will ease the pain in my knees and am proud to report that I did not fart and did not follow through despite being in some father “interesting” positions.

The downwards facing dog has been rechristened “the dead moose” but I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the class and will be attending on a regular basis all being well! I am so proud of myself for trying something like this which is completely out of my comfort zone – but one complaint I have is about the amount of mirrors! I look like a beached whale, so much so in the suggestions box I posted the following

“can we get the mirrors from the funfair that change your body shape!”

not sure its gonna happen LOL but one can try.

I am also pleased to report that I was actually told today “your losing weight!”

The fact is I have now lost 1 stone (14 lbs) but to have someone else acknowledge it felt great! It certainly inspires me and gives me added encouragement to know that people are noticing the changes in my body.

 

Besides this I am feeling confident enough to pose for some photos and we all know I love a semi naked moose photo or 4!

pizap.com10.85590695962309841367249486574 pizap.com10.89891882520169021367249364035 pizap.com10.89937271876260641367249715750pizap.com10.484507626853883271367249584744

I get bored easily and that is never good when there is a camera around 😀

Reflecting on yesterday

Not just yesterday as in Monday but all my yesterdays, when times were happier and simple.

But lets start with the big news from yesterday

I know what your thinking, Margaret Thatcher died, but that’s not the news I was referring too. The big news was that the moose went streamlined and removed lots of hair!

Haircut – check

Shave – check

Chest – check

Back – check

here is the proof

new streamlined moose

new streamlined moose

now if this does not make me run faster then I am afraid nothing will! It’s nice to finally be out of my winter coat!

After 4 bad days I actually made it out the house for longer than the 10 minute walk for cigarettes and headed over to the gym for an hour.

As expected once the black clouds had reappeared I found it difficult to leave the house and go training. despite the proximity of the gym. Although in my defence the more depressed I feel the worse my IBS is and I couldn’t risk any accidents on the treadmill. I spent most of these days laying down in bed feeling sorry for myself, it really is one of the things I hate most about having depression! The constant need for attention from people and the self loathing I suffer as a result of not getting any. It is never a case of people being busy in my eyes it’s always about people rejecting me and I struggle to cope with this ridiculous way of thinking because I know that’s not the case.

Recently I have been having the same dream, and it is rare that I even remember dreams let alone the same one each night.

In my dream I am 19 years old, it’s a Saturday and I am sitting in the dressing room of my football team enjoying the usual pre-match banter before getting changed and heading out onto the pitch and playing the game I love, pain free, injury free and carefree. My brother David playing alongside me, which usually meant me and him shouting at each other but don’t anyone dare try and foul him because I’d be there like a rocket! After the match we have a drink in the bar before heading home to get ready for a night on the Jack Daniels and coke. As I leave the house to go out bang I wake up!

every night for the past 5 days! even in my dreams I don’t get to go out anymore!

I guess it is a case of me wishing I could go back to the last part of my life when I was 100% happy with every aspect of things. I have mentioned before that having to give up football in my early 20’s has probably played a part in my depression because for the last 10 years I have had no real outlet to take my frustration away.

At this moment in time I cannot think of one thing that seems to be going right for me!

I am trying to push through the pain at the gym but there is a fine line between bravery and stupidity, bravery is signing up for a 10k run – stupidity is ignoring doctors advise and going through with it! but then I have not always been one to listen to advise!

I am conscious of the dangers I am posing to myself by pushing through the pain but feel like if I don’t at least push myself then there is no point in being there in the first place! However I do step off the treadmill when the pain changes from an ache to an “oh fuck my leg is gonna fall off” kinda pain.

In terms of my mental health benefiting from the exercise then to a point it is helping IF I can get over the feelings of anger/frustration that my body is letting me down! It would also be better for me if people were a bit more friendly within the gym environment. In the 10 days since I have been going I am yet to have someone say hello to me!

I am going to a yoga class this morning to see if that can help with the knee injury which my doctor believes is muscle related rather than the joint. This should be interesting as I have very little flexibility and am more likely to shit myself than get in any funky positions! Here’s hoping the IBS medication has kicked in before the class starts or it is going to be messy in more ways than one!

yogamoose

 

and on top of all the things going wrong for me lately tomorrow I have to attend the funeral of my great aunt who died last week!

And if I can make it through this rough patch I can make it through many more!